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135 of 142 found the following review helpful:
I like it, but it has some flaws Jan 09, 2007
By GadgetChick
I absolutely hated What to Expect When You're Expecting. Hated it. So when a friend gave me this book as a gift when I was pregnant, I kind of put it to the side, never expecting to use it.
Well, I surprised myself. I actually refer to this book a lot in caring for my now almost-6-month-old son.
What I like about the book is that the questions that it addresses are very much like real-life questions people ask about their babies. Some of the questions are word-for-word questions my husband and I have asked each other. That makes the information very accessible and I think, reassuring. You get a sense that "Oh good, my five-month-old is not the only one in the world who seems to be coughing just to get my attention."
There's a really comprehensive amount of information about nearly every parenting topic you can think of. In particular, the section about infant illness is invaluable. Great charts of symptoms and treatments for those symptoms, explanations about how to do home treatments, etc. My son has gotten a couple of colds, one of which brought on a croupy cough, and the book's advice about steam treatments and a quick trip outside helping were right-on, and exactly what my mom and grandma had told me worked to help croup. Without the book's specific description of what croup and stridor sound like, and how to treat it, I probably would have ended up in the emergency room with my son.
That being said, here are the things I don't like about this book.
- The information is supposedly unbiased, but the author comes down firmly on the pro or con side of an issue and there's not a lot of doubt about what the author feels you "should" or "should not" do. The author is against pacifiers, against co-sleeping, is much too cautionary about babywearing, and advocates CIO as a way to get a baby to sleep - there's a whole section about how to do CIO in the six-month chapter. The book is also very, VERY pro-breastfeeding. I breastfeed, so it didn't "bother" me, per se, but if a mom has to or chooses to formula feed, the constant references to breastfeeding and questions about breastfeeding that are found over and over and OVER in the book's pages would probably be a big turnoff. There's some lip service paid to "well, formula feeding is an OK choice" but there's a VERY clear and VERY strong message that you should breastfeed until your child is a year old, period. I know a lot of women who tried valiantly to breastfeed and just could not, and I have had my own challenges with it. I am all for breastfeeding advocacy and I consider myself an advocate for breastfeeding, but the tone and the repeated admonishments to breastfeed for a year were over-the-top even for me.
- The aforementioned section about CIO was pretty terrible. There were no discussions about ways to avoid CIO other than extended family bedsharing (which the author was lukewarm about recommending, at best), and there is a middle ground between the two. There was also no discussion about the fact that CIO doesn't work for all children - some kids are crying escalators, they don't calm down after crying for an extended period but instead get more upset, and trying CIO with a baby like that is going to be traumatizing for all involved. There's a pretty terrifying section that talks about how to deal with the noise of CIO, by notifying your neighbors, trying to muffle sound, etc. I just have to say, if your baby is crying that loud, that piercingly, and that long when you try CIO, you should consider the possibility that CIO is not working and is actually scaring or harming your child. CIO is a great tool for some kids, but not for all kids, and the book treats CIO like it is the cure-all for sleep problems. You get a sense, reading that section, that there really is no alternative to CIO other than having your baby sleep with you until they're 10, and there are other options (the No Cry Sleep Solution has some great suggestions about the sleep issue). There's also no discussion of the idea that nightwaking, especially for breastfed babies, is a developmentally normal and appropriate thing and will get better with time even without resorting to sleep training measures.
- The developmental milestones are treated as gospel truth and there is some alarmist information about "if your kid doesn't do X by Y month there could be a BIG PROBLEM." There's no discussion about what developmental milestones really mean in terms of development or the idea that babies can have developmental strengths in one area and weaknesses in another. My baby has always been WAY ahead in his gross motor development and lagging in his fine motor, which is a totally normal thing. But there's really no allowance for that, or explanation for why that would happen, in this book.
Overall I think this book is good and I don't think it's nearly as guilt- or panic-inducing as the Expecting book, or the Sears Baby Book (which is a whole other review). I think it's a worthwhile addition to the library of any new parent, if you can take some of the information in it with a grain of salt.
64 of 70 found the following review helpful:
 There are much better books than this one. Feb 28, 2007
By V. Thaler
I wholeheartedly agree with the reviewers who found this book alarmist and overly one-sided on many issues. My pediatrician agrees, and instead recommends the American Academy of Pediatrics' CARING FOR YOUR BABY AND YOUNG CHILD, REVISED EDITION, BIRTH TO AGE 5. What to Expect is a great book as long as your child does everything exactly as the authors prescribe. Otherwise, you're up a creek. Today's example: My 8-month-old isn't incredibly interested in finger foods yet, and this book makes it sound like she's doomed to eat Gerber purees for the rest of her life as a result. It also suggested that I was setting her up for a childhood of poor eating habits. A new mom, of course I called my pediatrician and he said I had nothing to worry about! Go with the other book instead. Rather than month-to-month guidelines which make you feel like your child is "behind" if he doesn't do something "on time," the AAP book wisely speaks about 4-7 month-olds, 8-12 month-olds, etc., at once. The authors recognize that every baby proceeds at her own pace. (What to Expect puts in its disclaimer that every baby is different, but its tone on many topics suggests otherwise).
21 of 24 found the following review helpful:
 There are much better books out there! May 26, 2004
I bought this book as a resource for my first child. Although it has some useful information, it is very "middle of the road" and I felt it didn't go in depth enough with research and information I felt to be important. One *huge* area that is lacking is the breastfeeding information. They do not adequately explain the differences between breastfeeding and formula, and recommend weaning a child at 9mo. The AAP recomments nursing for *at least* a year, and the WHO (World Health Organization) recommends at least 2 years. In WTE, the authors indicate that if you don't wean by 9mo, a child will almost assuredly not wean at all or until much much later. This simply is inaccurate at best. Throughtout the book, the book is obviously biased towards a "doctor knows all" point of view. I suppose it's a good book for anyone who would like to know what the average doctor would tell her to do, but it's not a good book for anyone who likes to have a little more information and make her OWN informed choices. No one is perfect, and doctors certainly don't have *all* the information that makes them experts on childrearing in general. This book to me seemed like doctor propaganda.Although there is definitely some good info in there, I feel that the biases (especially with regard to nursing) outweight the good that is in this book. I'd save your money on this one and look into other books for specific areas you are interested-- a nursing book for nursing, a child development book for child development, a medical guide for medical issues.
8 of 8 found the following review helpful:
horrible horrible advice...do not buy this book Jan 14, 2010
By K. Kos
I cannot even believe how bad the advice is in this book. It is so outdated. It is one sided, it is horrible. I feel bad that this is available to new mothers. It goes against all motherly instinct. It talks about "spoiling" and how the baby manipulates at 6 and 7 months old. Babies do not manipulate. Babies cry because they have a NEED. If you meet their needs, they become secure and confident and independent. If you let them "cry it out" as this book recommends, they become clingy, insecure and more dependent. This book talks about primitive societies and how they carry their babies everywhere, and then states how our society is different and we need to push independence. I cannot stress this enough...Babies become independent when we meet their needs.If we ignore their needs, sure they will self soothe, but they will also lose trust, a very basic sense of trust that they are just learning to develop. I wear my babies everywhere, everyday. My now 3 year old is an amazing, confident, independent, secure kid. He slept through the night when HE was ready. I never forced these milestones on him. My 6 month old started sitting up on his own at 4 months, crawling at 5 months, and is now standing...and yes, I wear him like they do in "primitive societies" (rolling my eyes) He is sooo happy and smiling. He babbles up a storm. He does not manipulate me. He cries when he needs me, and it is my responsibility as a parent to meet his needs. DON"T BUY THIS HORRIBLE BOOK. I wish they would take it off the market.
16 of 19 found the following review helpful:
 make sure you get and review the 2nd edition, NOT the first May 25, 2005
By amberliz
The problem with the previous reviewer's comments is that she's looking at the older edition of the book. THe 2nd edition, published in 2003 clearly states on page 437:
"The AAP recommends that breastfeeding continue for AT LEAST a full year and then for as long as baby and mother both want to keep it up..... Many women choose to continue nursing into the second year and beyond, and that's fine.... Older children who breastfeed are just as likely to be secure, happy, and independent as those who wean early."
PLUS -- there's an entire chapter dedicated to breastfeeding... with tons of reasons why it's a good thing. So I don't get why so many reviewers here keep on blasting this book for not being pro-breastfeeding. This book is so well balanced on so many issues -- like co-sleeping and baby wearing, etc. Looking at a ten year old version of the book that's been passed down from friend to friend and then REVIEWING it here -- instead of actually going out to the store or library to get the actual current book is unfair.
This book has been so helpful to me. As a first time parent, this book had all the answers I needed. Sure, I may not agree with everything in the book, but I'm intelligent enough to not take everything I read and treat it as gospel. I'm able to make my own decision when it comes to parenting, and not only does this book give me the tools to do that, but the authors even encourage that parents ultimately do what feels best to them.
I highly recommend it!
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